When they refuse accommodations

Last week we talked about some accommodations that you might request at the school if you have a child like Ty who:
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Is sensitive to the sounds of the cafeteria, playground or classroom
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Avoids using the bathrooms at school
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Doesn’t eat enough during the day
When I shared these with Ty’s parents, they were excited to give them a try but they were anticipating some push back because he often refuses to try new things and often refuses to use headphones.
It’s actually common for kids to feel uncomfortable, awkward, or embarrassed to use accommodations or have different rules in the classroom. This becomes more obvious and impactful as kids age and the social dynamic shifts.
Work WITH them, not against them
This is where a collaborative approach can be really helpful. The suggestion below overlaps with ideas from Dr. Ross Greene’s Collaborative & Proactive Solutions model, which emphasizes working with kids to solve problems together. You can read more about how I used this with my daughter [here], but here’s a quick rundown:
Get out a whiteboard or a piece of paper just brain dump all the ideas. Don’t hold back. Write down all the ideas, especially the silly, unrealistic ones—trust me, it helps break the ice a bit. The point here is to let your child feel heard, respected, and part of the solution.
Some examples you might write down:
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“What if we had a magic wand and made everyone disappear while you eat?”
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“What if the whole cafeteria was on mute?”
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“What if I could teleport you home just for lunch?"