Charlie was 8 when his mom reached out for coaching.
She came in with something a lot of parents don't have: actual data. She'd been watching, tracking, and thinking through his patterns for months.
She read books.
She made checklists.
She tried ALL THE THINGS.
She just couldn't quite get to the bottom of this one thing that kept happening.
Every day, around 4pm, Charlie would fall apart.
Not in the way you might be picturing. He's 8. He's bright — like, taught himself multiplication at 8, answers every problem before you finish asking bright. He is articulate and can strike up a conversation with anyone.
And yet, right around that same hour, every single day, something would shift.
The 4PM Crash Out
He'd start calling his mom names. Nothing serious, but it was out of character for him. “Poopy head.” “Meanie Mom”. That kind of thing. Silly, and some might say harmless, but can still be triggering.
He'd start to request (ahem- demand) more rough play. He'd ask for wrestling, asked to be sat on, any kind of deep pressure squeezing... and if he got it, it would rile him up more until there was a big emotional release. Then, like a balloon that finally popped, he'd come back to baseline. Like it never happened.
If it wasn't rough play, it was scaring his little sister. Or slapping mom's butt repeatedly, even after she'd clearly set her boundary, something he normally respected without issue.
And if he got hurt during any of this (even a tiny bump), massive reaction. No comfort wanted.
His mom tried talking to him about it. She worked breathing into their homeschool curriculum. She used all the tools she had built for herself over years of therapy. He didn't want any of it.
Something around that 4PM time (or leading up to it) was creating this dysregulation in his nervous system. It was like he had a sensory need that had been going unmet long enough that his body was trying to force a release (any release) to come back to baseline.
Here's what his sensory profile looked like, based on what his mom observed:
Mixed responses across almost every system. Over-responsive in some areas, under-responsive in others. He had a sensory swing, a wobble board, and a jungle gym in the basement. He loved all of them, but he only knew two speeds: fast or super fast. This meant he'd sometimes spin himself into motion sickness before he could regulate.
Other times, he was actually great at independent play that was regulating. Audiobooks with drawing. Building. Clay. Long stretches of imaginative play. But at 4pm his mom couldn't get him near those things. He was too far gone.
Oh, and one more important bit of information: his mom is almost certain that she's Autistic herself. His dad is taking medication for ADHD. Charlie hadn't been formally evaluated, and his family wasn't pursuing a diagnosis at the time, but understanding that his nervous system likely works differently was a useful lens for everything we'd talk about.
My Initial Thoughts
The 4pm window was too consistent to be random. It was definitely a pattern, and it felt like a cumulative thing. His tank was running low, he wasn't getting the proprioceptive input his body needed throughout the day, and the result was a predictable crash.
I always aim for a proactive approach, so I wanted to zoom out a bit so we could get a better understanding of what his nervous system needed before it got there.
Coming Up In This Series:
Over the next three weeks, I'll walk you through what we worked on with Charlie and his mom. We'll talk about:
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The early warning signs his mom learned to read before the 4pm crash hit
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What to do with the unreasonable requests right before a meltdown
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How we built an interoception curriculum she could build into their homeschool plan
Thanks for being here!
Disclaimer: These case studies are inspired by real-life clients I have worked with, with permission from their parents to share. Some aspects of the case are authentic, and other details are added to include more variability for our discussions. None of the strategies and advice here substitutes medical advice, diagnosis or intervention with an Occupational Therapist.
Looking for customized support for your particular child and family dynamics? Book a 1:1 call with me, I'd love to help!
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