Welcome back to part 3 of Lucas’ story. If you missed part 1, click [here]. Part 2 can be found [here]
Today we’re looking closer into the transition times that seem to be a challenge for Lucas. We’re also going to share what strategies Amy was already using, and my hypothesis about why it’s not working and what she should do instead.
"Monday mornings are the hardest for us to transition out the door to school. The second hardest transition is ironically the transition from school pick up to the car.”
If you only read that first part, you might make the assumption that the Monday morning transition struggle is a function of school avoidance. Perhaps that could still be true– but how does that relate to the difficulty Lucas has leaving school when his mother picks him up?
Morning Transition
When discussing this further, it sounded like anticipatory anxiety of not knowing what to expect at school this week, including which preschool teacher was the lead teacher that week (they often rotated, without a predictable rhythm), or what kinds of stations would be set up that week. The preschool teacher liked to keep it a surprise for the kids until Monday morning, but for Lucas, a surprise wasn’t exactly fun.
Add on top of that the annoying but necessary morning routine tasks like getting dressed, brushing teeth, putting sunscreen on, etc before school, and you have a cranky Lucas who was pushing back every step of the way.
Here are some strategies I recommended they try:
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Talk to the school teachers on Friday and see if they can give you a “teaser” as to what they have planned for the following week. Any kind of intel you have might be enough to help Lucas know what to prepare for.
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Create an exciting Monday morning tradition on the way to school or something he gets to do at school. One thing I loved about my daughter’s preschool class is that the teachers always made Monday mornings a show and tell about the weekend— students got to bring an item or print out a picture of their favorite thing they did that weekend and share with the class. It made Monday mornings so much more exciting. Another idea could be perhaps getting to school earlier to get to help the teachers set up the special centers for that day. This incentivises getting ready earlier and offers him some special time with the teachers.
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Validate his Monday blues. When all else fails, just sit next to him and validate how much you hate Mondays too. It won’t solve the problem itself, but rather than trying to coax him out of hating Mondays, just name it for him, normalize it and continue on with the morning. So it’s more like “Ugh, I know. Mondays stink. I wish I didn’t have to do Monday stuff either!” instead of “Oh come on, you love school! It’s not so bad!”
After School Transition
Lucas’ preschool had an aftercare program that was basically free play the entire afternoon. Parents would just pick them up straight from the play area. On one hand, it was great that Lucas was getting extended outdoor movement time– his favorite. On the other hand, this made the transition into the car and back home a little tricky. Amy said when she’d arrive there, he would sprint away from her, making her “catch him” in the play yard.
