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We’ve arrived at part 4 of 4 of Anya’s story. To catch up, click here to find parts 1-3.
We’ve already covered tips for Anya managing overwhelm during the school day, and we’ve shared some adjustments and accommodations to manage the transitions at home, after school and before bed.
Today I want to talk about Anya’s high need (but low cooperation) for safe, regulating heavy work activities. I’ll also share the helpful reminders and mindset shifts that made a huge difference for Anya’s parents.
Heavy Work Shouldn’t Be Forced
It’s quite common for kids to love and crave and seek out lots of active heavy work and completely shut down or refuse to do any heavy work activities that are guided or introduced by an adult. Common, and frustrating.
But here’s the most important thing to keep in mind: if you have to force a child to engage in the activity against their will, it’s counter-intuitive to regulation.
Unlike forcing them to put clothes on or clean up their toys in which the end result is the goal, sensory strategies are all about the process of doing. And if the doing is being done reluctantly, it will not be regulating.
Heavy Work Inventory
So what are our options?
First, this is the time to examine the heavy work your child is seeking out. List it out if you have to. Now, cross off anything that ISN’T: dangerous for them or others in the area or risks damaging property.
You should be left with a list of actions/activities that they seek out that are unsafe (either for themselves or others), inappropriate, or might break or damage property. These are the ones we’ll focus on adjusting and accommodating. All the other seeking behaviors you notice them doing you are going to bless and release🦋.
Try To Match The Input
When coming up with alternative actions to satisfy your child’s unsafe heavy work seeking activities, try your best to match the input.
If they’re climbing on top of the kitchen counter and jumping off to the ground…yeah, that’s unsafe. We’d explore safe jumping and crashing options.
If they’re squeezing the cat too hard, let’s explore a weighted plush animal instead.
It may not always be an easy 1:1 swap, but it’s better to try this than it is to just ask them to stop.
For Anya, she was constantly pushing her feet into furniture, and she had already broken and damaged some things. She was also constantly climbing the built-in book case and jumping off to land on their couch. When her mom redirected her to other options, she wasn’t into it.
Here’s what I recommended:
The first step was for Anya’s parents to educate her about why her body needs and seeks out these kinds of actions (by introducing her to her sensory cup and what that means).
Then, I recommended they invite her to be a sensory detective with them while they explore many different activities that might feel good for her body. Inviting her to be part of this process at a neutral time (as opposed to saying “hey get off the book shelf and try this instead”) is something they hadn’t tried yet.
I gave them the following to trial together:
