Welcome to part 2 of Jacob’s story, you can check out part 1 [here].
Jacob’s parents were doing their best to keep up with his big sensory cup and constant need for movement, but there also seemed to be big emotions tied up in that cup.
While some kids mask at school and save their meltdowns for home, others don’t discriminate—anyone nearby may witness it. That’s what was becoming a problem for Jacob at school. His mom explained:
“We belong to a co-op preschool and I've learned to say yes to activities that Jacob wants to do that don't hurt him or anyone else, such as climbing, getting muddy, etc. However, Jacob is quick to anger and he lashes out at other kids, parents, teachers, basically anyone he perceives as the cause of his frustration.”
What’s a co-op preschool?
A “co-op” (short for cooperative) preschool is run jointly by teachers and parents. Families take turns volunteering in the classroom to help with activities, snack time, cleanup, and parts of the curriculum.
There are so many fantastic reasons to be part of a co-op preschool, such as:
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More adults available to step in and support regulation needs
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A chance to actively integrate your child’s accommodations
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A strong sense of community with other families
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Input on curriculum and a focus on child-led, play-based learning
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Flexibility for movement and outdoor time
Okay it sounds great, so why is Jacob struggling?
Like any school model, co-ops have pros and cons. For Jacob, the challenges included:
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Inconsistency with accommodations when parents rotate in and out
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Limited training for most parents on child development or neurodiversity
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Less structure, which can be hard for neurodivergent kids
These factors don’t mean Jacob can’t succeed there, but they gave us context for where extra support might be needed.
I also want to point out that with Jacob’s particular profile, it’s likely he might struggle in other preschool settings as well, not just at a co-op.
What’s going on at school that triggers his behavior?
Being around large groups of kids has always been a trigger for Jacob- whether it’s at a birthday party, indoor gym classes, or soccer practice. At school, his teacher reported the following on the sensory questionnaire:
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Always is distressed by accidental touch of peers (may lash out or withdraw)
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Frequently shows distress when hands or face are dirty (with glue, finger paints, food, dirt, etc.)
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Frequently jumps excessively; seeks out “crash landings” from heights
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Frequently uses too much force when playing with objects
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Frequently knocks over other children’s building projects
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Struggles to sit still during circle time
At first glance, this can feel contradictory: he’s sensitive to touch yet rough in play, how can that be? But it’s common for kids to crave input only when they control it. A child who covers their ears may also be the loudest in the room. A child who wipes off kisses might also love sensory bins.
For Jacob, group play was unpredictable and out of his control. He could crash into peers on purpose, but if someone accidentally stepped on his heel, his nervous system went into fight mode.
