← Back to all posts

When they refuse accommodations

by Laura Petix
Jul 14, 2025
Connect

 

Last week we talked about some accommodations that you might request at the school if you have a child like Ty who:

  • Is sensitive to the sounds of the cafeteria, playground or classroom

  • Avoids using the bathrooms at school

  • Doesn’t eat enough during the day

 

When I shared these with Ty’s parents, they were excited to give them a try but they were anticipating some push back because he often refuses to try new things and often refuses to use headphones.

 

It’s actually common for kids to feel uncomfortable, awkward, or embarrassed to use accommodations or have different rules in the classroom. This becomes more obvious and impactful as kids age and the social dynamic shifts. 

 

Work WITH them, not against them

This is where a collaborative approach can be really helpful. The suggestion below overlaps with ideas from Dr. Ross Greene’s Collaborative & Proactive Solutions model, which emphasizes working with kids to solve problems together. You can read more about how I used this with my daughter [here], but here’s a quick rundown:

Get out a whiteboard or a piece of paper just brain dump all the ideas. Don’t hold back. Write down all the ideas, especially the silly, unrealistic ones—trust me, it helps break the ice a bit. The point here is to let your child feel heard, respected, and part of the solution.

Some examples you might write down: 

  • “What if we had a magic wand and made everyone disappear while you eat?”

  • “What if the whole cafeteria was on mute?”

  • “What if I could teleport you home just for lunch?"

Subscribe to keep reading this post

Subscribe

Already have an account? Log in

Loading...
Lucas' Story Part 4
    We’re back to finish up Lucas’s story today. You can find part 3 [here], part 2 [here] and part 1[here]. Today we’re tackling his limited safe food list and how that directly impacted his regulation.  Lucas’s Safe Foods Lucas had around 30 foods in his safe food list, which, by feeding therapy standards, is considered “typical” and wouldn’t warrant intervention. However, of the 30 foods, h...
Lucas' Story Part 3
  Welcome back to part 3 of Lucas’ story. If you missed part 1, click [here]. Part 2 can be found [here]  Today we’re looking closer into the transition times that seem to be a challenge for Lucas. We’re also going to share what strategies Amy was already using, and my hypothesis about why it’s not working and what she should do instead. "Monday mornings are the hardest for us to transition o...
Lucas' Story Part 2
    We’re back today for part 2 of Lucas’ story. Part 1 can be found [here].    Morning routines were a challenge for several reasons, but one of the constant pressure points was getting dressed for school. Lucas was most comfortable wearing pajamas, and Amy and Trevor eventually realized that wasn’t the battle to pursue. Since he was attending a play-based preschool, showing up in Paw Patrol ...

The Sensory Code

Learn how to decode behavior using a nervous system lens and how to incorporate sensory strategies into your daily life by these real life case study examples.
Powered by Kajabi

Join Our Free Trial

Get started today before this once in a lifetime opportunity expires.