Here we are at Part 3 of Cora’s story. [Catch up here] for part 1, [and here] for part 2.
Once mom understood the sensory piece to Cora’s behavior, we were in a better place to start talking about specific strategies. I intentionally started small, with subtle changes and shifts to her daily life without adding a full on therapeutic sensory lifestyle for two reasons:
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I wanted to see how much even these small changes would move the needle, without over-burdening the family schedule.
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I knew Cora was already in dozens of hours of therapy a week, I didn’t want to add on too much extra activities to her plate.
Easy Wins For Cora
Lower the extra sensory demands in the hard moments. When Cora is already dysregulated (like when she’s not loving her socks, or she’s upset about a dirty sleeve), this is not the moment to ask her to use her words, or calm down on command. Those are all higher-level skills, and she doesn't have access to them in those moments. Decrease the auditory sounds (which means not adding additional verbal cues), turn down the overhead lights, or try flipping the sock inside out to avoid the seams. When hairbrushing proves to be too much, take a break, and use a visual timer to help her process that. [Here are 6 additional hair brushing tips to try].
Embed movement and playfulness into transitions. A lot of Cora's hardest moments cluster around transitions: getting dressed, leaving somewhere, going to the dinner table. The added dynamic of wanting to avoid the sensory trigger that comes with the next activity makes it even trickier, so if we can proactively provide her nervous system with regulating input, that might soften the blow. Something simple like animal walks, or blowing bubbles while walking to the car might be an option. [Other tips for managing transitions here]
Lean into accommodations. Mom was a bit hesitant to invest in noise reducing headphones or sensory-friendly clothing because she had been given some conflicting advice. Mainly, she worried that this would be “enabling” Cora’s behaviors, rather than helping her tolerate them. (Trust me, we spent a good 15-20 minutes dismantling this.) But I helped her view accommodations as a helpful tool that can make those daily tasks way less stressful– which would contribute to building other important skills, like communication and social connection. After all, Cora can’t connect with peers or caregivers or communicate properly if she’s dysregulated from the uncomfortable socks. Some accommodations she agreed to try included:
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Noise reducing headphones at the stores/birthday parties
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Hat to cover bright sun/lights in stores
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Buying seamless socks and cutting off tags of her clothes
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Keeping a wet wipe or towel for outdoor messy play
Last tip: Slow down. It seems simple, but even I am majorly guilty of this. I am always acting like someone’s got a timer on me as I rush and zip through each part of my day. Kids with sensitive nervous systems can pick up on this energy and absorb that dysregulation as well as what they already have going on. Together, we looked through mom and Cora’s schedule to make some space to “cushion” each block of time with an added 5-10 minutes so there could be built-in time for dysregulation. It sounds silly, but this worked so much for me. When I accounted for the morning meltdown before school, suddenly, I was more mentally available and prepared to sit with her and coregulate rather than freaking out about us being late. And some of the time, this intentional slowing down helped prevent some meltdowns. Specifically, mom made some of the following changes:
