Back again for the last part of Cora’s story. Catch up on posts 1-3 here, here and here.
Today we’re tackling Cora’s communication differences. She had limited expressive language, and was already receiving speech therapy. With the accompanying sensory sensitivities and daily meltdowns, the communication gap was the first to blame.
3 year-olds who don’t have communication differences still struggle with communicating sensory overwhelm, because sometimes it’s a bit abstract. They’re not always explicitly cognizant that the sock seam is what bothers them. Instead, they might just say “no sock!” or “Off! Off!” without cluing you in. So for Cora, who did have communication differences, her ability to express her experience was even more hindered. So, she resorted to throwing the socks, crying, and melting down.
I’m not a speech therapist, but I invited a friend who is.
Elizabeth Sautter has nearly three decades of experience as a licensed speech-language pathologist, and specializes in supporting neurodivergent learners across home and school settings. She has an award-winning book, Make Social and Emotional Learning Stick!, which offers nearly 200 activities that help children thrive in everyday settings.
Here’s what Elizabeth wants us to know about the overlap of SPD, communication differences and emotional regulation:
How and why sensory processing differences and communication challenges overlap
Parents need to know two important things: communication is so much more than words, and all behavior is communication.
Behavior is how a child tells you what their nervous system is experiencing long before they have any other way to show you. A child communicates by reaching, pointing, moving away, covering their ears, bringing you an object, making a sound, using gestures, using pictures, or using a device. Even throwing the socks is communication.
Sensory regulation is foundational. When the nervous system is working hard to manage uncomfortable or unexpected input, it becomes much harder to access anything else, including communication in any form. I know this personally. In my own household, we each have different sensory needs. Some of us need more input to feel regulated. I need quiet to focus, to think, to connect. When I don't get it, my ability to communicate clearly goes offline too. The brain simply can't reach for words, gestures, pictures, or a device when it's busy managing input that feels like too much.
That shift from "why won't she communicate?" to "what is her body dealing with right now?" changes everything.
